I am what someone might call a "heavy watcher of TV". Do people say that? Probably not. But what I mean is, I watch TV... a lot. I watch teen shows (more than I should at age 31, i.e. Vampire Diaries), I watch drama, I watch suspense, essentially, I watch it all, ALL.THE.TIME. I am probably what networks and marketers would call the perfect target (I majored in marketing and I am certain that is not what they would call me, but I cannot for the life of me think of what they would call it!?). Recently, with some much needed time off, I was able to catch up on TV and it was here that I realized that when I watch TV, I am smack dab in the middle of the devastating imperfection that is life.
On Grey's there are people fighting to simply move limbs for the first time and restore the ability to move since becoming completely paralyzed. Or there is a baby that is fighting a rare disease that all the doctors are battling against to keep him alive each day. And if drama or comedies were not enough, on the local news I recently saw where a young infant was fighting for their life at UVA and donations were being collected to pay for treatment. Television is constantly depicting the struggles of life and for me, it touches a deep scar that will likely never completely heal.
Thanks to TV, I am reminded, daily, that life could be far worse for my sweet Olivia. But, the black portions that are depicted in her MRI will still haunt me forever. And, YES, we are lucky that the damage to her brain is what it is. But it is a struggle none the less. It is her struggle. It is my struggle. It is OUR struggle.
Thanksgiving has helped me to remember what I am thankful for each day. As I strive to achieve this perfect image, this perfect life, and perfect family, house, car, and perfect everything. I realize, I will NEVER get there. We work so hard to take the perfect pictures to share on Facebook or our Christmas cards just to make it seem that we have it all together, but in reality, life is not that easy, for anyone. In reality, we get this:
When I placed my daughter down with her cousins on Thanksgiving day, I envisioned my sister, Amy, capturing the "perfect" picture. Instead, she captured reality. I smiled the moment I saw this picture, because it is real. It depicts each child in their true element: Sweet Maggie grinning because she knows we are frustrated that Olivia is crying. Jack, frustrated that this moment is not behind him so he can go back to tractors, questions and appetizers. And Olivia, who does not appreciate being placed in a specific location without her consent, especially with these two characters. It captured real life. It captured the imperfections.
In my mind, this picture is actually perfect. And as my Aunt commented on the photo on my Facebook page, "This looks like a Life Magazine picture", she is absolutely correct. Because this is life. The ups, the downs. It is all here, a still frame of imperfection for all to see. And while it can always be worse, it is what we have, and I am thankful for every part of our crazy, mixed-up life.
In true TV show fashion, I was watching Nashville and Deacon and Maddie, father and daughter characters, sing a song called "Life That's Good". I think it summarizes my thoughts, my wish for Olivia, and for our family and our "perfect" life that could be better, but could also be much worse.
So for now I will take these verses to heart:
Sometimes I'm hard on me,
When dreams don't come easy,
I wanna look back and say,
I did all that I could,
Precious Olivia, I hope you know, we do all that we can to make sure your life is good. We love you.
~ Mom and Dad
On Grey's there are people fighting to simply move limbs for the first time and restore the ability to move since becoming completely paralyzed. Or there is a baby that is fighting a rare disease that all the doctors are battling against to keep him alive each day. And if drama or comedies were not enough, on the local news I recently saw where a young infant was fighting for their life at UVA and donations were being collected to pay for treatment. Television is constantly depicting the struggles of life and for me, it touches a deep scar that will likely never completely heal.
Thanks to TV, I am reminded, daily, that life could be far worse for my sweet Olivia. But, the black portions that are depicted in her MRI will still haunt me forever. And, YES, we are lucky that the damage to her brain is what it is. But it is a struggle none the less. It is her struggle. It is my struggle. It is OUR struggle.
Thanksgiving has helped me to remember what I am thankful for each day. As I strive to achieve this perfect image, this perfect life, and perfect family, house, car, and perfect everything. I realize, I will NEVER get there. We work so hard to take the perfect pictures to share on Facebook or our Christmas cards just to make it seem that we have it all together, but in reality, life is not that easy, for anyone. In reality, we get this:
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| Photography by Amy Camblos |
When I placed my daughter down with her cousins on Thanksgiving day, I envisioned my sister, Amy, capturing the "perfect" picture. Instead, she captured reality. I smiled the moment I saw this picture, because it is real. It depicts each child in their true element: Sweet Maggie grinning because she knows we are frustrated that Olivia is crying. Jack, frustrated that this moment is not behind him so he can go back to tractors, questions and appetizers. And Olivia, who does not appreciate being placed in a specific location without her consent, especially with these two characters. It captured real life. It captured the imperfections.
In my mind, this picture is actually perfect. And as my Aunt commented on the photo on my Facebook page, "This looks like a Life Magazine picture", she is absolutely correct. Because this is life. The ups, the downs. It is all here, a still frame of imperfection for all to see. And while it can always be worse, it is what we have, and I am thankful for every part of our crazy, mixed-up life.
In true TV show fashion, I was watching Nashville and Deacon and Maddie, father and daughter characters, sing a song called "Life That's Good". I think it summarizes my thoughts, my wish for Olivia, and for our family and our "perfect" life that could be better, but could also be much worse.
So for now I will take these verses to heart:
Sittin' here tonight,
By the fire light,
it reminds me I already have more than I should....
By the fire light,
it reminds me I already have more than I should....
Sometimes I'm hard on me,
When dreams don't come easy,
I wanna look back and say,
I did all that I could,
Yeah at the end of the day, Lord I pray,
I have a life that's good.
I have a life that's good.
Precious Olivia, I hope you know, we do all that we can to make sure your life is good. We love you.
~ Mom and Dad
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