Clearly I have a slight obsession for television and music, both of which I have discussed in previous blog posts for various reasons. I think both TV shows and music just have a way of connecting with you and making you relate to the words being said or sung at that very moment. Recently the TV show "How I Met Your Mother" completed it's series finale and as an avid watcher of the show over the past 9 seasons, I had several teary-eyed moments. The show's main character, Ted, is on a quest, a very long quest, to meet the woman of his dreams, his soul mate, his future wife. His stories are told in past tense as he shares his tale with his children of the ups and downs of finding their mother. It's a story most anyone can relate to, the journey of finding your match, the person that makes you feel whole.
I won't give away the ending for those still trying to make it through the season via DVR, but I think what I walked away feeling was that everything happens for a reason. Every single person you meet in your life has a purpose, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Some people come in and out of your life quickly, and some stay around forever. And sometimes a series of choices and decisions will put you in the exact right place even if at the time you thought it was the worst place to be.
There is one moment that stands out in my life as a major fork in the road and it is so insignificant, I cannot for the life of me understand why I have clung to this memory for the past 10 years. After college I moved to Wilmington, NC to live with my older sister. I moved there without a job, without an idea of what I wanted to do, and without much money. After a few unsuccessful job interviews I decided to try a new avenue so I could at least have some spending money. I applied to be a hostess at a restaurant and a cosmetologist or make-up artist (I am not sure) at Belk. Wouldn't you know, I was hired as a hostess and I was excited to start my new job at a fun oceanfront restaurant. On my way to the first day of my job my cell phone started ringing. Flustered and late, I picked up the phone while driving and trying to find my way to the restaurant. The voice on the other end of the phone said they were calling from Belk, I had gotten the job and they would send me to a class or school of some sort to teach me how to apply make-up. I thanked them but told them I already had a job and that I was no longer available.
It seemed like such an easy choice at the time. I already had a job, I didn't need Belk! But, less than two months later I called my Mom and Dad crying, begging to come home, that life in Wilmington, NC was too hard. Truth be told, being an adult was just a hard change for me to accept. I only had my sister and my Aunt and Uncle that I knew in that city and I hadn't had to make new friends since freshman year in college. I worked nights and my sister worked 9-5, I slept in and stayed up late and I was miserable. I couldn't get out of Wilmington fast enough. So I packed up my car and drove home. About six months later I had gotten a job in Washington, DC, living with a good friend and loving life. Two years later, I met my future husband and five years after we met we had our sweet and beautiful Olivia.
But what if I had paused one more second and contemplated the offer from Belk? Would I have lasted longer in Wilmington? Would I have met different friends, eventually found a full time job and career? Would I have eventually made it to DC? Would my life be different? This teeny, tiny moment is the only "fork" in my road that stands out as something that could have been a game changer, and it is not even that significant of a moment. I used to wonder if there was a "fork" I was missing or didn't see when it came to Olivia's developmental delay. If I had made a different choice, would the stroke still have occurred? If I had actually stayed away from hot dogs during pregnancy, would that have changed the outcome? If we had tried to have a baby sooner or maybe later, would this still have happened?
The series finale of "How I Met Your Mother" helped me to realize that there never was a fork in my road. The decisions I made, the path I took, led me straight to my husband, our future together and our amazing daughter Olivia. It is easy to wonder "what if?", and it is easy to wonder "why me?", but surprisingly, out of everything it is easiest to accept that this life that I have is exactly what it is supposed to be. So for now, I will keep walking along this path because there is no other path I would rather be on than the one I am on right now.
There is one moment that stands out in my life as a major fork in the road and it is so insignificant, I cannot for the life of me understand why I have clung to this memory for the past 10 years. After college I moved to Wilmington, NC to live with my older sister. I moved there without a job, without an idea of what I wanted to do, and without much money. After a few unsuccessful job interviews I decided to try a new avenue so I could at least have some spending money. I applied to be a hostess at a restaurant and a cosmetologist or make-up artist (I am not sure) at Belk. Wouldn't you know, I was hired as a hostess and I was excited to start my new job at a fun oceanfront restaurant. On my way to the first day of my job my cell phone started ringing. Flustered and late, I picked up the phone while driving and trying to find my way to the restaurant. The voice on the other end of the phone said they were calling from Belk, I had gotten the job and they would send me to a class or school of some sort to teach me how to apply make-up. I thanked them but told them I already had a job and that I was no longer available.
It seemed like such an easy choice at the time. I already had a job, I didn't need Belk! But, less than two months later I called my Mom and Dad crying, begging to come home, that life in Wilmington, NC was too hard. Truth be told, being an adult was just a hard change for me to accept. I only had my sister and my Aunt and Uncle that I knew in that city and I hadn't had to make new friends since freshman year in college. I worked nights and my sister worked 9-5, I slept in and stayed up late and I was miserable. I couldn't get out of Wilmington fast enough. So I packed up my car and drove home. About six months later I had gotten a job in Washington, DC, living with a good friend and loving life. Two years later, I met my future husband and five years after we met we had our sweet and beautiful Olivia.
But what if I had paused one more second and contemplated the offer from Belk? Would I have lasted longer in Wilmington? Would I have met different friends, eventually found a full time job and career? Would I have eventually made it to DC? Would my life be different? This teeny, tiny moment is the only "fork" in my road that stands out as something that could have been a game changer, and it is not even that significant of a moment. I used to wonder if there was a "fork" I was missing or didn't see when it came to Olivia's developmental delay. If I had made a different choice, would the stroke still have occurred? If I had actually stayed away from hot dogs during pregnancy, would that have changed the outcome? If we had tried to have a baby sooner or maybe later, would this still have happened?
Erin, thank you so much for writing this! I am always second-guessing every decision I make. Why do we do this to ourselves? You are right, every decision we've made has led us to where we are now. It IS right, and what is supposed to be. You, Mike and Olivia are really inspiring to me and no doubt the many others who are reading this blog - so keep writing! Love you Dinger fam!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, MJ! I think we all struggle with certain decisions and if it is right for me personally or right for my family. I think in the long run we get to where we need to be and that is all that matters. Thanks for reading! And we LOVE the Arquette family! (Just ask Mike).
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ReplyDeleteJoanieApril 28, 2015 at 12:52 PM
ReplyDeleteErin, I have missed reading your blog but know you have been busy. Olivia is a beautiful little girl and is lucky to have such loving, caring parents. Being a mother is never easy, but when you see her smile when you come home from work, you forget everything. Enjoy it!