I am not the mom that dreamed of having a baby, a family or someone to take care of each day. I was fiercely independent, a wild middle-child and lived to have fun with my friends. Of course then I met Mike, and the the idea of a family slowly started forming in my head, but a baby was still very far away in my mind. But low and behold, a little over three years after our first date, we decided to have a baby. My life, our lives, changed forever the day I found out I was pregnant. I just didn't realize how much it would change until I saw that little rosy face staring up at me while snuggled, warm and cozy, in her blanket. She needed me to love her, nurture her, invest time, energy and my soul in her. My life no longer existed as I had once known it, I was there for her every cry, sneeze or wimper. I was her lifeline in this world and it turns out she was mine. I have come so far as a mom from that first day and without knowing it, I have learned more from my daughter than I ever dreamed possible.
Lesson #1 - It's okay to cry when things don't go your way. Why shouldn't you enjoy a good cry every now and again? Sometimes life is pretty hard and it doesn't go the way you planned. Olivia has to work so hard in this journey and sometimes when she does not succeed at a certain task her frustration gets the best of her and she simply cries. But cry, cry, cry away, because it is frustrating! No one on this planet has the same exact challenges, but everyone faces challenges each day. After Olivia cries she always manages to achieve her goal/task on the next try. Crying clears your head, it clears your emotions. Crying clears the way so you can focus, so you can succeed.
Lesson #2 - If you fall down get back up again - I don't know how many times I have seen Olivia fall while she was learning to walk. Each time she would pop right back up (unless she paused for lesson #1, but then she would be at it again in no time). We need to take after our children. Developmental milestones are not easy, even for those without cerebral palsy. Life is not easy. It involves a lot of trials where success is not reached, whether it is due to falling, running into an obstacle, and sometimes someone else pushes you down all together. And yet, each time Olivia still popped back up as if nothing has happened. It's not about the fact that you fell down, but rather, about still working to get to that end point, that goal, no matter what gets in your way.
Lesson #3 - Life isn't fair - I didn't discover this reality until now. Yes, there have been times when things haven't gone my way in my life, but they all seem trivial now, because for the most part, my own life has been pretty good. But when your daughter is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, and there is nothing you can do to take that away, the only thing you feel is helpless. When it is just you fighting life, it is hard and can seem unfair at times, but it is truly unfair for a child to have to face a difficult diagnosis of any kind. What is even more outrageous is the number of children that face these hard and long journeys of cancer, accidents, genetic disorders, developmental delays and more. 1 and 323 children alone are diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I find that fact alone mind-blowing. Life is simply not fair.
Lesson #4 - But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't smile... a lot - It a rare moment that Olivia is not smiling. Don't get me wrong, she is a toddler and there are meltdowns, tantrums and bad moods. But, mostly, she is smiling. The thing is, most children are constantly smiling, right? Children don't know the hardships of money, work, family and just life in general. So why not smile? Even when Olivia is sick she will smile. Sometimes, life is not going exactly the way you planned it but what else is there to do but smile? It will get you through to the other side. So just smile.
Lesson #5 - Love. I love my parents, my sisters, my family, and of course, I love my husband. I loved them all before ever even meeting my sweet Olivia. I thought I had a pretty good grasp on the whole "I love you" concept. And then came Olivia. I love her so much it hurts. But the thing about understanding that kind of love, it also makes you a better person, wife, friend, sibling and daughter. It makes you a better mother. You find yourself wanting to share the love that you have found. Or if you are like me, you might even start hugging people when after years you had warned people to keep their arms to themselves! The love for your child is a powerful thing and I am so grateful for my sweet Olivia and love her more than I ever thought possible.
There is always more to learn in life every single day but you have to be open to the message. I have cried more tears for Olivia's condition with cerebral palsy than I care to admit. Then the other day, I realized that I was able to tell Olivia's story to a stranger without wanting to cry, without feeling angry or cheated. I simply was telling the honest truth about the most amazing little girl I have ever known. If I hadn't cried all those times, I wouldn't have been able to get over that hump between anger and acceptance. So go ahead and cry, it's okay, it helps. And throughout my journey as a mom I have had ups and downs. Times when I have felt like Super Mom and times when I felt like a super slacker. But Olivia has shown me that when things get in the way, knocking me down, just stand back up. Live life with just a few moments at a time and brush yourself off after the bad moments so you can be ready for the really good moments. Olivia has taught me so much over the past 23 months and I cannot wait to see what else I uncover as we travel along this long and crazy road together. So for now, I will keep an open mind because I don't want to miss any lessons in life from my daughter.
Lesson #2 - If you fall down get back up again - I don't know how many times I have seen Olivia fall while she was learning to walk. Each time she would pop right back up (unless she paused for lesson #1, but then she would be at it again in no time). We need to take after our children. Developmental milestones are not easy, even for those without cerebral palsy. Life is not easy. It involves a lot of trials where success is not reached, whether it is due to falling, running into an obstacle, and sometimes someone else pushes you down all together. And yet, each time Olivia still popped back up as if nothing has happened. It's not about the fact that you fell down, but rather, about still working to get to that end point, that goal, no matter what gets in your way.
Lesson #3 - Life isn't fair - I didn't discover this reality until now. Yes, there have been times when things haven't gone my way in my life, but they all seem trivial now, because for the most part, my own life has been pretty good. But when your daughter is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, and there is nothing you can do to take that away, the only thing you feel is helpless. When it is just you fighting life, it is hard and can seem unfair at times, but it is truly unfair for a child to have to face a difficult diagnosis of any kind. What is even more outrageous is the number of children that face these hard and long journeys of cancer, accidents, genetic disorders, developmental delays and more. 1 and 323 children alone are diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I find that fact alone mind-blowing. Life is simply not fair.
Lesson #4 - But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't smile... a lot - It a rare moment that Olivia is not smiling. Don't get me wrong, she is a toddler and there are meltdowns, tantrums and bad moods. But, mostly, she is smiling. The thing is, most children are constantly smiling, right? Children don't know the hardships of money, work, family and just life in general. So why not smile? Even when Olivia is sick she will smile. Sometimes, life is not going exactly the way you planned it but what else is there to do but smile? It will get you through to the other side. So just smile.Lesson #5 - Love. I love my parents, my sisters, my family, and of course, I love my husband. I loved them all before ever even meeting my sweet Olivia. I thought I had a pretty good grasp on the whole "I love you" concept. And then came Olivia. I love her so much it hurts. But the thing about understanding that kind of love, it also makes you a better person, wife, friend, sibling and daughter. It makes you a better mother. You find yourself wanting to share the love that you have found. Or if you are like me, you might even start hugging people when after years you had warned people to keep their arms to themselves! The love for your child is a powerful thing and I am so grateful for my sweet Olivia and love her more than I ever thought possible.
There is always more to learn in life every single day but you have to be open to the message. I have cried more tears for Olivia's condition with cerebral palsy than I care to admit. Then the other day, I realized that I was able to tell Olivia's story to a stranger without wanting to cry, without feeling angry or cheated. I simply was telling the honest truth about the most amazing little girl I have ever known. If I hadn't cried all those times, I wouldn't have been able to get over that hump between anger and acceptance. So go ahead and cry, it's okay, it helps. And throughout my journey as a mom I have had ups and downs. Times when I have felt like Super Mom and times when I felt like a super slacker. But Olivia has shown me that when things get in the way, knocking me down, just stand back up. Live life with just a few moments at a time and brush yourself off after the bad moments so you can be ready for the really good moments. Olivia has taught me so much over the past 23 months and I cannot wait to see what else I uncover as we travel along this long and crazy road together. So for now, I will keep an open mind because I don't want to miss any lessons in life from my daughter.
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