A fly on the wall

Have you ever been in the middle of watching your child scream and scream and throw temper tantrum after temper tantrum and yet, at the same time you are having an out of body experience, like you are watching a video being played of you standing there watching your child have a tantrum?  Or maybe you were having this out of body experience so you can escape the loud screeching noises coming from your sweet and precious child?

Or while you are standing there watching this meltdown of all meltdowns and unable to think of anything else other than "I wish I were a fly on the wall at my friend's house when this happens with their children.  How do they respond?"

But instead you are not somewhere else, and you are especially not a fly on a wall, nosily curiously eavesdropping on how your friends or neighbors respond to their child's painstakingly cranky, loud, tearful, and typically unnecessary tantrums, which were likely brought on for some random reason like your child personally dropped their own container of Cheerios and now the dogs are eating them!  (How dare the dogs eat the food she drops!  Meanwhile I am calling the dogs to come in the room so I don't have to vacuum...)

This fly on the wall thing, it is normal right?  I mean today I told Olivia that if she didn't brush her teeth I would feed her pacifier to Rooney, our dog.  Is this what goes on at my friend's house?  Do these amazing lines come out of their mouths as well? Do they threaten to feed toys to their own animals to persuade their child to cooperate? On days when it is too cold/raining/hot/humid to go outside and play, what do other people do to occupy their small toddler who has a very short attention span?  Or how about when your daughter decides to lay on the floor at a department store, refusing to get up, or finally gets up and starts running away from you all while laughing, what would you do?  What about when your child gets up around 5:00 AM, does my friend respond by:  A- Go ahead and get up for the day with your child?  B.  Try to get your child to go back to sleep in their own crib/bed? or C. Pull them into your own bed and try to get them to go back to sleep so you can squeeze in a little bit more sleep for both you and your child?

Personally, if I were to be honest with myself, I think what it boils down to is this:  Even if I could be that fly on the wall and see what someone else is doing, see how someone else reacts in the same situations, I probably still wouldn't change how I respond.  This being a parent thing is one tough and uncertain journey.  You never know if decisions you are making will be the right ones.  But, I think I have learned that a little confidence in what I am doing really makes all the difference.

So yes, someone you know right this very moment is handling a similar situation differently than you would handle it.  And that is OK.  As long as your response isn't some type of abuse or neglect, you are probably doing just fine.  Trust your own instincts, do what works for you and your family.  And most importantly, don't judge others for handling situations differently than you.  I am going to put this mantra on repeat and just try to have a little more patience for my daughter, her tantrums, and also a little more patience in my own decisions and how I respond to each and every situation.

.....And I will definitely be looking for a very big fly swatter!